Because i’m scared to fail again.

After so many failures in the past, I’m scared to fail anything again.

I promised myself I would study well so I won’t get any 5s this semester… But my ominous failing grade in the 1^st exam in ES13 tells me otherwise. Maybe I should have exerted more effort in studying and solving problems. But I’m sure I’ve done enough reviewing for the 1^st exam and I was sure I was going to pass that effin’ exam.

This morning, I had an exam in one of my major subjects. Engineering economy (as if our poor economy needs any analysis! Pfffft.) 2 hours wasn’t enough to answer the looooooong and tedious problem solving he gave us. I DON’T WANT TO FAIL THAT EXAM! They are actually expecting me (hence the PRESSURE!) to be one of the top scorers in his exam since I am always making pa-bibo in his class.

I still have an exam tomorrow and I’m not yet done reading all the slides Ma’am Kate gave us. ARGH. Huway?! Why do they have to schedule ALL the exams on the SAME WEEK??!

endless

I’m finally starting to feel the pressure of being a student.

There are papers due every week, exams being held at the same day and the non-stop staying up late just to study and cram your report and homework.

I never thought 1^st sem would be this tiring. I only have 16units but with the hectic schedules and constant day-by-day deadlines, I feel like I’m taking up 21 units.

I’m still not yet done on my take-home exam (and I’m not making any progress either); I haven’t started doing my technical report for mete12; I have a project proposal that’s due tomorrow; and I have two exams next week. Oh joy!

Checklist for the week

Finally! I was able to catch sleep today.

Classes were suspended due to the bad weather. It was raining the whole day and I snuggled up my bed, snoring the day away.

I had lots of things to do, but the weather was making me sleepy and focusing on my acads was just impossible.

CHECKLIST:

v      Technical report on mete12 that’s due next Friday (but submitting before the deadline will earn me a +5 points (per day before Friday))

v      A 150-pt take-home exam in EM10

v      Cheat sheet for mete15

v      Homework in mete11

v      Quiz in ES13 next Tuesday

v      Project proposal for physics 73.1 that is due on Wednesday

And the list goes on and on, and on, and on…

Life Changing Experience

As I write this blog, I am sipping coffee while thinking of how to start my technical report in one of my major subjects. I’ve been doing my problem set in MetE15 since 6pm and stopped only when I needed a biological break. So I think a 15 – 30 minute break is what I deserve after long hours of thinking and analyzing engineering economics.

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Earlier last week, I saw a ‘Wanted:Tutor’ ad in SC. Even though I am not really in need of money, I decided to text the number since I want to earn extra cash for my shopping sprees. The person texted back the address of their house — which was unfamiliar and I had to ask people for directions — and what time I should go there. After 30 minutes, I finally got to North Susana Village (which was in Luzon Ave.) and I still had to ride a pedicab to reach their house. At ayun. Ang pedicab driver ay nakipag chumi-chumchum sa akin and asked me what I was doing there. When I told him that I was going to apply as a tutor, he told me that those who live in that street were mostly Koreans and my tutee might be one.

I already have an experience in tutoring Koreans — something I prefer not to do again. Aside from the life changing experience, I also lived in the same building with them for more than a year. They have invaded our cities and they feel like they are superior over Filipinos with the mentality that they are smarter and richer than us. They rely on those who are desperately in need of money to teach them how to speak English and pay only a small amount for an hour of exasperation and exhaustion in teaching them the basics which they find sooooooo hard to learn. Their unpleasant smell lingers in an enclosed space for hours. (Actually, the condominium where I lived for more than a year smelled like kim-chi.)

I admit I am a fan of Koreanovelas and their cute and fashionista lead actors. But I am contented with just watching them in TV without smelling their ‘trade-mark’ scent.

So anyway, I got there and was dismayed when I saw that my tutee was definitely a Korean (which turned out that there were THREE OF THEM). I taught 3 kids for 3 hours (different subjects pa ha!) who just wanted me to do their home works. I wasn’t given any instructions nor any details on how much they were going to pay me. Their mom (who knows little English) asked me (with the help of one of her daughters) to explain the topics in the most ‘simplest’ way that I could (most na nga, simplest pa. San ka pa?!). It was hard to communicate with them and they had to consult their electronic dictionary every once in a while just to understand what I was saying. (example, I’d explain what corrosion means. They’d input the word ‘corrosion’ in the dictionary and read it’s English definition, nodding as if they understand it. Typed it again, this time in Korean and say ‘aaaaaahhhh’ when they read it’s definition in their native language) I was resisting the urge to laugh every time they say, ‘aaahh..’ thinking maybe I looked like them whenever I get to understand a topic that I’ve been trying to comprehend for weeks.

I stayed there for 3 hours wishing for the clock to tick faster. It was already getting late and I didn’t know how to get home from their house. When it was finally time for me to go home, their mother offered to drive me until Puregold since pedicabs were no longer available at that time. During the ride, they finally told me that they’re going to pay me P120 per hour for 3 hours, Mondays to Fridays. I was tempted to turn down their offer since it’s way, way below the rate I usually charge my tutees but had no idea how to tell them. It was already 11 in the evening when I got home. I was tired, felt stupid and decided that I won’t be coming back the next day.

I didn’t show up since last Thursday.

Now, they’re texting me something like:

‘Why don’t you come?’

‘Berenice, why don’t you come teach us?’

Nakokonsensiya din ako noh. I’ll text them tomorrow.

But really… I was offended. Do they seriously think they can fool Filipinos by paying them little for their time since they know the country is in recession and most of us are in need of money?  What good do they bring in our country? Their investment in English tutorial schools they own for Koreans like them?

I have nothing against the Koreans. It’s just that if they are going to feel superior over the bright and intellectual Filipinos and exploit us by not paying us the right amount that we deserve, they might as well pack up and leave the country as soon as they can.

One, Hectic Sem

This sem’s turning out to be hectic and demanding of my time. I didn’t expect that exams will only be days apart, papers from different subjects are due the same day, and teachers expecting so much from you (is that new in UP??!).

I still haven’t recovered from my ES13 exam yesterday. I wasn’t able to answer one of the problems, since I wasn’t really sure where to start. It’s a good thing I got the 1^st question right, and half of problem no.3 (so that’s 50 points). I’m expecting a failing grade. But if they are generous enough with partial points, I might actually pass the first exam.

Done with ES13. Now I’m cramming two technical papers in one my majors. One is due this Friday, and the other one is due next week. I’m after the plus points my prof’s giving to those who submit their papers early.

A 150 points take home exam in EM10 is what I also intend to finish (at least half of it) this week. It’s very, very long and there are two problems which I don’t know how to answer.

I’m starting to miss 8-hours of sleep and endless hours of petix. Haaaay…

ultimate goal

When I asked my friends if they have any idea on what insurance quote is, their reactions were like ‘What are you talking about, dude?’

At the age of 20, we’re still in school finishing our degree in Engineering. None of us have encountered the term insurance quote or anything related to that. We spend our money on shopping, food, for entertaining ourselves or just saving our excess cash.

It will still be years before any of us will involve ourselves in the ‘grown-ups’ business. The ultimate goal each of us have in mind is to graduate college. Right?

Expensive Therapy

The way I cope with my depression’s not good.

 It leaves my wallet and my bank account empty. Yes… I’ve been shopping and pampering myself lately.

I can spend a thousand bucks or more in less than an hour. I know that’s really not too much, but I’m just not used to spending too much on clothes or for myself. I’ve been shopping every other week, buying new clothes or just spending money on comfort food. I treated myself to a facial (which was really painful and left my face red and sore) and bought a set of clothes that were on sale at Folded and Hung. It was worth it naman, since I rarely indulge myself with these luxuries. I’m planning to buy a new pair of Havs, but I can’t afford that right now. (huhu. Damn those kids who stole my slippers!)

I’m starting to be a shopaholic — an expensive therapy that’s been leaving a BIG hole on my already empty wallet.

Crazy Ideas I Think The World Needs

My professor in one of my majors asked us to think of crazy ideas/inventions we think the world needs. So here’s what’s on my list:

1. DISLIKE BUTTON FOR BAYANI FERNANDO (and the stupid MMDA officials and engineers)

-oyeah. He’s running for presidency for the upcoming elections. So what’s his goal for the Philippines if he wins? To make our country a HAPPY, PINK PLACE. C’mon. The bright pink and blue theme that is all over Metro Manila (and even in my province) is an eyesore. BADUY! The goal of engineering is to find the most effective and most efficient way to do things. So what’s up with all the barricades and blocked entrance/exits his engineers are doing/planning? The overpass that shakes when vehicles pass underneath it? And, the stupid MMDA enforcers who can’t give you any answer when you ask them why they block entrances/exits for bus passengers? Metro Gwapo? More of Metro Stupido.

2. STUDY ELECTROCUTER/ALARM

-          Focusing on studying is really a hard thing for me. There are a lot of temptations and sometimes laziness wins over diligence. The device that I’m thinking off can be set for a certain amount of study time (say an hour or 2) and can only be removed after studying. Why the electro cuter? The device will send a tingling, uncomfortable sensation to your body when you get distracted during your study time (e.g, standing up, watching the TV, etc). For concerned parents, they can buy the Study Alarm for their young children. Instead of the uncomfortable sensation, the device will sound an alarm if the child stops studying.

3. INFIDELITY ZAPPER

-          Recommended for those who think their partners are cheating on them. A computer chip will be implanted on their partner’s body (I don’t know how this will happen without your partner knowing it) and will able you to track your significant other’s actions and whereabouts. I recommend that this chip be implanted in his/her brain, so that every disloyalty will result to a tingling, uncomfortable sensation (minimal electrocution) LOL. These are for die-hard lovers only. (Para wala ng mambabae/manlalake!)

These are only a few of the ideas that I thought of over the weekend. Will think of other crazy ideas. =))

On Comfort Food

I ought to stop relying on food for comfort. I was pigging out the whole week without even pushing myself to get up on my feet and do some exercise. I’ve been eating sweets and delightfully calorie-rich food; ice cream’s on my daily diet; and I’ve been craving for salty chips and isaw.

As I write this blog, I am munching on French fries from Mcdo, while drinking Coke Float. Potato chip’s next on the list.

I’m bulging up on all places and my pants are getting tight.

I’LL JOG TOMORROW. PROMISE!

A Bit Nonsense

I had to get that one off my chest. It’s a nagging feeling that I just had to say

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So anyway. Tomorrow’s my father’s birthday and I still don’t have anything to give him. I spent a lot for his gift last father’s day and now I haven’t saved enough for his birthday. Will it be valid if I tell them I don’t have enough money to buy him a present?

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I hate the cold. My knees are aching. Rheumatism at an early age ‘aint a joke guys. The cracking bones and the feeling as if my joints are dislocated are bothering me.

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I have a quiz tomorrow and I haven’t started studying. So I will keep this post short (and a bit nonsense as you can see) since I need to focus on studying. Ciao.